at 22 ..

Two years after graduation, I looked back and ruminated on the things I have achieved. I asked myself, what have I really done so far to give back.

Right after graduation, I’ve had 4 consecutive jobs. My very first work was sitting in an office waiting, staring at the computer all day recording some stuffs. I surprised my former teachers when I took up education after high school. I surprised more people when I signed up for this very first job. Eager to receive my first hard earned money and the mindset that ‘I don’t want to teach’ still fresh in my head, I grabbed the offer without considering the better opportunities I could have had. Days passed and I realized how the work doesn’t fit me at all. But I signed a contract and made a commitment so I needed to at least wait until the contract expires. Three months isn’t bad at all. Then, I was lucky enough to be part of an online institution teaching Korean students. I am a secondary Mathematics major graduate, but the very first subject I taught in the teaching world is English. I was happy with what I was doing back then but I needed to apply what I was molded for. With regret, I quit and left the online teaching world after almost a year. Then I was hired by a private school as a mathematics teacher. This time, I was excited that finally, I am able to exercise what I have learned from my 14 years of formal education. Young and idealistic as I was, there were some things I didn’t want in the school that made me almost quit again. I was on the verge of quitting but if I do, I would have caused more trouble than what is there already. I chose to stay for the reason that I made a commitment already not just to the school but to the parents and the students as well. I can’t just leave them with all the problems the school was facing back then. It’s more than just the contract I signed, it’s more of my sense of commitment and responsibility.

Then, the first knock of leaving for work abroad came. Unfortunately, the door was half-opened and as I am about to hold the door knob, it closed. I was frustrated. I needed to do something. My perspectives were somehow changing. I decided to sign up in the BPO industry where I could earn much more  than what I would earn in a regular private school. I thought of going back to school. Not for Masters ’cause I made myself believe I don’t want to teach. So, my plan was to enroll myself in BSAC in the university near my workplace. Everything was going well. I believe I was performing well. I was happy and the desire to go back to school is burning inside me. Finally, I’ll be able to study the one thing I really wanted for myself. I knew it will need real hard work, determination, discipline and focus for me to be able to do this. Working and studying, though I haven’t really tried it yet, is a sure tough thing to do. But I was ready for it, and my hopes were high, I can do it.

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.”- Veronica Roth

At the height of enjoying the new work in the call center, the second opportunity to work abroad knocked on my doorstep. Though I have made my plans already, I grabbed the chance.  It was a choice between what I could do for myself and what I could do for  them, the people I care. Obviously, I chose the latter. I took the risk. No. I didn’t give up my dreams. At the back of my mind, I could still go back to school even after some time when all is well financially and in all other aspects.

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